Creative Ideas for Staging Intimate Moments Without Kissing

Many wonderful scripts feature lovely intimate moments between characters: a wedding, a special moment with a crush, a declaration of love, a first kiss. However, many actors (of all ages, not just student actors) are uncomfortable with the idea of kissing another actor on stage. This can be for a myriad of reasons: relationship status, prior experience (or lack thereof), religious or cultural reasons, concerns about hygiene, worries about germs, and more. Student actors may worry about being teased or gossiped about, having their first kiss be onstage, or having to kiss someone they know/don’t know/like/don’t like.

But when it comes down to it, it doesn’t matter what the reason is. The bottom line is that students are minors and cannot truly consent to performing a kiss onstage, whether or not they say they’re comfortable with it. As teachers and directors, we are in positions of power, and students may feel that they have to perform a kiss to be eligible for a role, regardless of whether or not they are comfortable with it. Some directors may feel that actors should just do what the script says, forgetting that working with youth in educational theatre is entirely different from working with adults in theatre. A director — an adult — should not ask a child to do something that crosses a boundary, whether the student is aware of it or not. We need to make decisions that are safe for our students.

However, you don’t have to avoid intimacy onstage entirely. This is a wonderful opportunity to make some beautiful and creative staging decisions. Here are more than 20 ideas about how you can stage a moment of intimacy without lip-to-lip contact. Some of the ideas still ask students to have physical contact with each other, so be sure that students are comfortable having another student touch their hand, face, hair, etc., before proceeding.

• Have actors look into each other’s eyes (which is more challenging than you think).
• Have one actor touch the cheek of the other actor. The other actor might place their hand over the first actor’s hand as well, or close their eyes.
• Have one actor gently brush a tendril of hair away from the other actor’s face.
• Have actors face each other and hold hands, or exit holding hands.
• Have actors embrace or hug each other.
• Have actors place their heads on each other’s shoulders.
• Have actors place their foreheads against each other.
• Have one actor dramatically dip the other actor.
• Have actors slow dance with each other.
• Have one actor put their hands on the other actor’s neck or shoulders, and the other actor place their hands on the first actor’s waist. Then have one of the actors do a “foot pop” behind them for a classic tableau moment.
• Have one actor lift the other actor up and lower them into an embrace. Optional: have the lifting actor safely spin the other actor around.
• Have one actor kiss the other actor’s hand. For extra comfort, the actor giving the kiss might kiss the air above the other actor’s hand. The actor receiving the hand kiss might wish to wear a glove appropriate to their character.
• Place the actors further upstage (closer to the back of the stage) so audiences can’t see the air between their faces during a “kiss” moment.
• Angle the actors so that their heads and hands mask the “kiss.” For example, have one actor stand directly upstage of the other actor, and move their faces fairly close together, so audiences can’t see the air between their faces.
• Mask the “kiss” with a hat, fan, book, umbrella, or other creative prop.
• Have actors sneak or hide behind a couch, curtain, door, or screen, implying that they are kissing behind it.
• Have one actor move towards the other as if they were going to kiss, but at the last minute either shyly or flirtatiously move away (duck away, gently push away, whatever works with the character).
• Have the couple move towards each other as if they are going to kiss, then have the best friend characters pull them away from each other at the last minute.
• For a comedic scene, have actors hold dolls or stuffed animals (“stunt doubles”) or Hershey Kisses chocolates and have them puppet the items together to kiss.
• For a comedic scene, have actors freeze just before kissing, and have another actor hold up a sign that says “THEY KISS.”
• For a lip-to-cheek kiss, have one actor place their downstage cheek next to the other actor’s upstage cheek and kiss the air.
• For a lip-to-arm-or-hand kiss, have one actor get very close to the other actor’s arm and kiss the air upstage of that actor’s arm or hand.
• Some actors might be comfortable performing a “thumb kiss.” Actor A places their hands on Actor B’s face, with Actor A’s thumbs over Actor B’s lips. Actor A kisses their own thumbs. Combine this with creative angling of the two actors.
• Fade the lights or go to blackout before lip-to-lip contact is made.
• Use a projection of a kiss while actors hold a non-contact tableau.
• Have actors hold a non-contact tableau and use a sound effect of a kiss.