Theatrefolk Featured Play – The Absolutely Insidious and Utterly Terrifying Truth About Cat Hair by Bradley Walton

Welcome to our Featured Play Spotlight. The Absolutely Insidious and Utterly Terrifying Truth About Cat Hair by Bradley Walton is hilarious, easy to stage, and suitable for an insanely large cast. Brenda! Put down that brush! Step away from the cat!

Cat hair is infinite. No matter how much hair you brush off of a cat, there will always be more. Always.

Cat hair has existed since the beginning of time, and it will be here long after cockroaches have become extinct. It is the secret driving force behind business and politics, and is plotting the downfall of humanity even as we speak.

Why did we publish this play?
The title totally stands out and our first question was, does the play match the awesomeness of the title? Boy does it ever! This play has the longest title, the largest cast, the strangest characters and an infinite amount of cat hair.

And the great thing is that the cat hair is integral to the play, so the ensemble has an active role. The cat hair has personality. This is a play filled with unique characters: granola bar, lint roller, masking tape, vacuum cleaner. It’s fabulous if you’re looking to introduce non-human characters to your middle school students. Let the fun and the cat hair begin!

Let’s hear from the author!

1. Why did you write this play?
My wife and I had an incredibly sweet cat named Nuala. She shed. A lot. To the point that it seemed infinite. One night I was staring at all the cat hair that had accumulated on a rug I was sure I had very recently vacuumed, and the ideas for this script started to germinate in my head. So I started typing, with no idea where the concept was going, and wrote the play in tiny increments of about 300 words a day over the space of a month. I remember at one point thinking it was a mess and I should give up on it. But I didn’t, and I pulled it together. It became my most popular play, and I have since come to regard it as a gift from Nuala.

2. Describe the theme in one or two sentences.
Cat “owners” are actually helpless, powerless slaves to their pets. (And also, cat hair really is infinite and not to be trusted.)

3. What’s the most important visual for you in this play?
The actors playing the cat hairs moving and functioning as a cohesive unit. The more strongly they pull this off, the better it sells the concept of the play.

4. If you could give one piece of advice for those producing the play, what would it be?
Tying in to the previous question, treat the movement of the cat hairs more as choreography than blocking. They should be smooth, graceful, and vaguely sinister.

5. Why is this play great for student performers?
Although the play can be performed with as few as 16 people, it is beyond perfect for large groups. The only limit to your cast size is the number of bodies you can fit on your stage. And ALL of the parts are gender flexible.